Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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