too bad you live with your parents still
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
