I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
