I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize