Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you traded sex for a burrito?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
