his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
