Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
