question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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