he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
birth control should be required to get into college
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize