Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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