Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
