bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
