I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
