He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
smell my finger.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
