Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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