he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
