She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
