Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
