I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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