I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
