My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
