My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.