I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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