Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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