on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
