I'm lost and stupid without you.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
