You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
