He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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