Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
