It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
