"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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