and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
