Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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