The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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