I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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