yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
