i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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