she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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