plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
