im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
