Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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