break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
