The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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