i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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