I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
