Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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