Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
