is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
