I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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