An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
