I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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