Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
