I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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