This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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