I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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