he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
