i think i have herpe
just one?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
