um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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