why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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