found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
