i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
