walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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