I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
