I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
